Sittin' On Santa's Lap

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the place
No music, no t.v., no Jack, Will or Grace
The stocking well hung in the bedroom with care
I do hope that Big Nick will find his way there
I wore a bandana, not much more than that
The silence was shattered I woke from my nap
Oh such a clatter now what was the matter?

I'm dreaming of sitting on Santa's lap
And kissing and holding his helpers so tight
I'm dreaming of sitting on Santa's lap
Happy Christmas to you and to all a good night

Quick to the window I flew like a flash
The treatments were awful they needed a sash
I gazed at my perfectly manicured lawn
Hoping and praying that nothing was wrong
I gasped and I choked as I opened my eyes
Then I looked even closer, oh what a surprise!
A sleigh in my garden and a dashing young chap
Sporting a suit that he bought at the Gap
While shopping with daddy who wasn't a hunk
But a ball of red fur and a little bit plump
From eating way too many Twinkies

I'm dreaming of sitting on Santa's lap
And kissing and holding his helpers so tight
I'm dreaming of sitting on Santa's lap
Happy Christmas to you and to all a good night (2x)

Hey Santa come in with your herd of big men
And sit on my deck and lounge in my den
Bring Dasher and Dancer and Mark, Rick and John
And a few of the toys for Philip and Ron
I spoke every name saying each one with care
Then Santa leaned over and said, "fix your hair"
I cut and I curled, I poofed and I sprayed
Then Donnie and Dasher unloaded the sleigh
So you and your boys and your elves and your deer
Kick off your Gucci's and have a cold beer

I'm dreaming of sitting on Santa's lap
And kissing and holding his helpers so tight
I'm dreaming of sitting on Santa's lap
Happy Christmas to you and to all a good night

Now Santa you rest and Mark come with me
I need your assistance to put up my tree
Now Philip and Ron you both musn't fight
Or Santa won't leave you a present tonight
Oh was it a dream?
Did I have a ball kissing all Santa's helpers until they were called
To load up the sleligh and speed through the night
Happy Christmas to you and to all a good night

I'm dreaming of sitting on Santa's lap
And kissing and holding his helpers so tight
I'm dreaming of sitting on Santa's lap
Happy Christmas to you and to all a good night

Words and music: Charles Green and Jan Pulsford
c 2002 Jalepu Music (BMI)